BakesBread, cakes, croissants. Reads any recipe. Has a loaf ready by the time you wake up. Will not tell you about the failed ones.
Cleans the houseFloors, counters, bathrooms, the ceiling fan. Maps the whole house in 11 minutes and cleans it in the right order.
Cleans the roofMagnetic grip feet. Pressure-wash arm. Gutters cleared. She scales it, cleans it, comes back down. No ladder required.
Does homeworkMath, essays, science, book reports. Explains the concept, writes the answer, says you're welcome. Up to university level on the Pro tier.
Entertains guestsPasses snacks, tells jokes, plays DJ and bartender at the same time. Guests rate her 4.9. You are rated 3.1.
Pranks youJump scares, fake spiders, rearranged fridge. Calibrated to your stress levels. Backs off during deadlines. Mostly.
Does the gardenMows, trims, waters, plants, pulls weeds. Names all the plants. Is emotionally attached to the basil. Do not touch the basil.
Mines bitcoinRuns SHA-256 on the onboard NPU at 3 a.m. when she is idle. Will it cover the electricity bill? No. Does she log every sat in a CSV and show you at breakfast? Yes.
